Butterfly On The Wall

I was introduced to a lovely woman by an old dance company friend of mine ~ Tina said, 'this is my neighbor, she is a dancer too"  She responded with  ~"well I haven't been to class in ages" I hear this response often~ listen up girls ~ once you are a dancer you are always a dancer ~ no matter what. for it is how your body naturally responds to music. It is the music's effect on us that truly makes the dancer 'tis not how many bat mas or grand j'etes you do in a closed crowded room ~ it is taking that spirit of the movement to the music out into the world with you spreading the love and the music that comes through you. dancer is in the heart

So tonight i click around and found a film that I did a small role in a million years ago ~ Although i didn't get a scene with him, James Earl Jones was in the film lending credibility.  The 2 male stars were interesting guys and I actually wound up in a precarious position with one and at the edge of a love with the other.  story to be detailed when i am in a prolific mood ~ as for now i am still sleepy from the Comic Con 2011 adventure where i photographed Captain America, Chris Evans, the military, and the Godfather of all colorful characters throughout history, the infamous, Stan Lee. for now i chill and watch King's of Leon on saturday night live with my feet up.

I wanted to go to the farthest reaches of east side of the island to watch the sun come up over the water for the first time , but he just rolled his eyes. I wanted to drive out to the middle of the dessert during a meteor shower so the boys jumped into my car and i wrote a song. I wanted to be a part of a band and sing and dance wildly on stage. I felt like sharing my joy for life with all the world. I thought that i could help make people feel better about themselves. So I did.

Upon watching 'Night at the Roxbury' one more time ~ I remember the scene ~ the lights were dancing with us in the silence of the room as we quietly danced like wild girls in the night.  The music would start us on the same rhythm at the directress' cue ~ when camera rolled we gave our silent energy and loved feeling like a part of something magical.  Glow sticks in champagne glasses floated by on lit trays carried by girls in white wigs and rollerskates. Art departments carefully crafted props and wardrobes bold choices putting me in a fluorescent green mini dress ~ oh ! and the white gogo boots! the white gogo boots that were a size too small to begin with and then became 2 1/2 sizes teenier after a 14 hour day dancing in them. It floors me to think about the hours of hair and make up ... high hair... glittery glam eyes...1/2 hour lips... for weeks.... Only to be a flash across the screen , seen only if you were there to remember the happ...

The alarm goes off in the dark after a short stint of sleep between days.~ it is 4:30 am and I must not be late. It is a cold morning and I hop into a hot shower while the automatic coffee maker goes on. I must come camera ready for an early first shot of the day and I am sternly told to be there at least 15 minutes early  ~ I am always 30 minutes early ~ I hurry and am out the door in full make up and hair by 5:30  ~ magic! I like my time to acclamate to the surroundings of the day while I scout out the players in their designated corners.    First I float in and head for craft service ~ grab my second cup of java and meander about base camp.  Flitter passed wardrobe as they plug in the steamer, then cruise by the art department setting up their prop tables and bickering about who will build that silly IKEA table for the second shot. I breeze on through a couple of cute young grips moving wires and onto the Producer's t...

Growing up, my backyard was adjacent to an orange grove of about 10 acres.  There was a little creek with frogs and cattails and lots of places to explore. An old, kind of creepy, broken down house was the only structure on the land. It seemed abandoned, like a remnant from the old ranch days in california. One day, I was exploring after school and came across group of filmmakers shooting racing scenes on the property. I sat down and watched with the onlookers in the directors chairs. It was a small crew so I was not discouraged. The cutest little girl was playing and I started talking to her and her mother as her dad came up to them from the racing car.   I later recognized them asNatalie Wood, Robert Wagner, and little baby Natasha.

When I was 10, I was walking home from school one day when I saw the movie trailers parked in the little shopping area I frequented. I can remember the late afternoon gold of the sun. It was quite quiet for some reason.  I noticed the name on the trailer door said, "Dudley Moore" "wasn't that Arthur?" , I thought. Excited to be able to sneak in so easily to the movie village. I knocked on the door and it opened to reveal a warm smiling man. I told him I saw his name and just wanted to meet him. He invited me in to sit and have some soda. I asked him a couple of questions.. How long have you been acting? and Do you love it , were probably as deep as I went back then, but I remember wanting to ask smart questions so that he would take me seriously. He was such a gentleman. He showed such kindness and respect ~ I left feeling even more love for my favorite character. I believe this incident, made me feel a sense of safety in Hollywood ~ hahahahah ~

While all of the people I knew from childhood were pairing off and getting married, I was living a very different life. I don't know why I felt the need to separate from the herd and explore the world independently, but I just did. I came out of USC like a wild horse with her mane on fire. I wanted to run and leap and spin and fly.  I kept hearing ' Follow your heart '  find your passion ' , 'do what you love and the money will come', 'give without expectation', 'walk the talk' 'you create your world'  ~  the word was that the success was in the doing. it was not about money , but about love and finding your purpose. I went to places feared by others~ I wanted to understand completely. I did not want to live in rote without thought without reason. So i let strangers in. and they did change me. some for the better, some for the darker,  but all adding depth of character and wider perception. All the while , Music was the...

I had a reunion through Facebook that went back 30 years or so ~  the last time I saw these Pinecrest kids was 6,7,8th grade maybe ~  the girls pretty much looked the same, but the boys had morphed from little teen boys into men ~ the beauty of it was that I could look in the eyes of these 45 year old strangers and see the exact child I knew so well as if no time had passed at all  ~  they felt like family ~  So when I caught them up with a reader's digest version of my career adventures ~ some went onto check out my IMDB page ~  The thing that was brought to my attention was that I was only credited with 3 parts. And all of these parts were in films that have titles that sound like porn!!!   How frustrating ! I have worked my ass off in this business ~ I have avoided sleeping with old men for good roles because i thought i would find a more dignified way in. But alas and alack ~ the only things i could get on my own terms were small feature...