intimate conversations with myself

intimate conversations with myself

I wake up from another rough night, to my red eye again ~ so scary looking eeek~ what has happened to me? Make up used to be optional.
 I used to wake up, brush my teeth and be on my way ~ but now
the stress is showing all over me and its getting harder to get into a better mood.

Why am i not married with my own family or in a career i can count on?
they say hard work brings rewards, but that is clearly proved untrue by me.
I have been called 'the hardest working most unrewarded actress in all of hollywood' not an honor i honor.
actually the weight of that is unbearable ~

The society that i loved so dearly, wanting everyone to have their fair share ~ has bitten me in the ass.
no one gives a shit what happens to me.
my family cares but they play financial victim in their mercedes benzs and italian shoes, they couldn't possibly understand my situation.
How could they ~ i dont quite get it myself.

In my attempts to Not sell my body or my soul, it becomes apparent that  my mind has  no significant financial value in its current state.

I got into the arts because it called me in with purpose.
The Arts can educate... in mass... so we can eliminate misinformation through it......    duh! why aren't we already!?

but now it is clear that the Common Sense is not common at all!!
people don't believe the science???   probably because they don't understand it ~
back to thinking... educate through the arts....

I can't help but remembering my Lew Wasserman encounter ....
i was 20 something and naive as a kitten when i approached him enthusiastically with my brilliant ideas to change the world....

he said in dark, stern tones and most ominous stance... " we are here to entertain.. not educate! if they want education let them go to school..."
"yes" I saidwith emphasis and excitement of the discovery, "but we can educate in mass with the arts and create such a positive effect on society!!"
"WE entertain Not educate... hurumph!"...  he replied with an annoyed growl.
I turned to look at his wife, who appeared like a sweet grandma and she simply repeated what he said in his exact tone...  it was clear i was barking up the wrong stone wall.
he seemed more mobster than studio head to me.

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